Cole has really declined. The Vinorelbine has been great for his breathing but I suspect his lungs and skin are not the only places the cancer is taking over anymore. The Vinorelbine targets only the lungs and the oral chemo has not been enough for the rest of it. The mass on his side that was about the size of a marble about a month ago is a little bigger than a golf ball now. His breathing is good but he is starting to lose interest in food and even when he was eating all of his meals and snacks, he was losing weight. He seems so thin to me now. He is very weak and having trouble walking further than room to room. He is having trouble sleeping through the night and we had to start him on pain medications. I emailed Canna Companion a few questions about the cannabis supplement before ordering when his doctor first recommended them but they never responded. We found some oil drops available locally instead at All The Best Pet Care and those do seem to help a little. He is more relaxed and his appetite improved a bit. They were very helpful with questions when we went there so I recommend giving them a try if people are interested in adding that.
Mike and I decided to stop chemo and wait through the weekend to see if some of his symptoms are side effects of that. If so, we will watch for when he has trouble breathing and say goodbye. In case he doesn’t improve, we are making arrangements for a home vet visit next week. This last round of chemo was really hard for him and I can’t put him through any more.
I am trying not to cry but the grief keeps coming in waves. I am mostly able to just be with him and enjoy him for now. Mike is still wavering in and out of denial. Ella is worried and will cuddle him but has been a little distant too. She has resumed her cheerleader roll during potty breaks when we are encouraging him to walk. He has needed assistance walking due to a combination of being weak and loopy from the pain meds sometimes so the back half of his harness came out of storage. Rufus is limiting his terrorizing to Ella only so I know even he is concerned for Cole.
We have 2 beds in our master bedroom; we have a king size and the dogs have a twin to share. We are breaking our usual no dogs on the human bed rule and all 5 of us (2 humans, 2 mastiffs and Rufus the cat) are cramming on our bed for sleeping at night and sometimes movies in the day. We have been taking a blanket and pillows outside and sitting with him in the grass. He is getting all the treats and I’m headed out for steak, rotisserie chicken, bananas and more canned food when I finish writing this. He will have the most amazing week (or however long) I can possibly provide. It will be filled with his favorite foods, belly rubs, cuddling in a big snoozy pile and spending time in the back yard eating beans and peas from the garden and chewing sticks.
I am sorry to hear Cole is declining. This is the hardest decision to make. One you want to try to make at the right time and not wait too long. Love on him like you are and make sure to take some pictures of yourself with him. Also I didn’t really get a snippet of Sassy’s hair other than what they cut to get her O2 level that last day if you are like me you save everything to remember.
Sounds like you are making the most of your time with him.
hugs
Michelle & Angel Sassy
The tears are falling. I just love Cole…Cole Porter the Magnificent Mastiff. We hurt with you. We cry with you. We understand the pain in your heart.
We also uderstand this, Cole KNOWS he is so loved! And he KNOWS that you love him enough to help him transition when the time comes. And he knows you will stay stro g and you celebrate with him as he frees himself from his earth clothes when they no longer serve him..
But right now, we STAY STRONG with you and we CELEBRATE BEING WITH COLE IN THE NOW with you. And right now we are NOT letting that piece of crap rob you of being focused on the now. And now you have Cole by your side a d he js still finding enjoyment eati g his sticks and hogging your b
My tavlet is screwing up, so let me try to make it work long e ough to finish writi g you!
I left off try to type about Cole hogging your bed!!
I agree with your husband about giving him some more time to recover from the chemo. The side effcts can take a toll and take quite awhile for the side effects to wear off. I’m glad you saw some improvement with the oil from The Best Pet Care place. It’s good that they were so helpful. IF…big IF…if you can lower the pain meds WITHOUT causing him to hurt, you could see if he is a little more alert/stable. Obviously, if a reduction causes him pain, then bei g a little lethargic and unstable is not nearly as bad as being in pain!
You’re right, no one knows how much time any of us have. But what we do know is you are doing a splendid job of making EVERY DAY COLE PORTER DAY!!! SPOIL, SPOIL, SPOIL!!! I KNOW this is so hard to stay in tbe moment and not worry about the tomorrows, or even the next hour. Again, your love for Cole is so strong you will do this for him!
You have given…and continue to give Cole THE most beautiful gift of extended time when this journey began. He, and you, have made it the best time a dog could have!! A bond like that is forever and can NEVER be broken!
Surrounding you with love…And a whole bunch of sticks and baskets of green beans
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie