This is Cole. He is a 5 year old English Mastiff. He is a sweet and sensitive boy who is happily bossed around by his two siblings, Rufus the cat and Ella, our other mastiff. He likes to lean on people and snuggle. He is stubborn. He snores and sleeps with his tongue out. He roars like a bear when he wrestles and likes zerberts and playing with his octopus toy. He likes to be with us all the time. He is scared of the cat despite being eight times his size. He loves everyone. He is one of the brightest parts of my life.
We just found out he has osteosarcoma in his right front leg. A week ago, we went to the vet thinking his slight limp was an injury from playing in the yard and were told he has cancer and we only have a few months to maybe a year left. All we could do was manage his pain as much as possible. We were devastated and we spent the next several days holding him and trying not to cry too much.
I tried to be strong and not show how much pain I was feeling so the pets would not be upset or worried but it was impossible. I was already grieving him and felt like I was being ripped apart. I worried about him and also about how Ella would handle this. They have been together since she was a few months old and are so bonded. My mind raced for days and I could barely concentrate on anything. I would go from crying to numb to crushing sadness to flashes of rage. I couldn’t eat or sleep.
I read about the disease online and everything I found was very grim, especially for a giant breed dog like Cole. Amputation is usually the best choice but my primary care vet and so many online articles said is not a good option for my 160 lb boy. I also couldn’t imagine putting him through a major surgery and all the pain it would cause, especially when he would likely only get a few months.
We saw the oncologist a few days later and learned about our options. They were not quite as limited as we originally thought but there is no good choice. We can only make the least horrible choice possible. There are basically three options: surgery and chemo, radiation to slightly slow the cancer and manage pain or no treatment other than pain medication. She recommended we see an osteologist and see if he is able to have an amputation so we set up an appointment. She also recommended the Tripawds website.
As the days went by, I kept reading and thinking and started to see things more clearly. The desperation and panic to “fix it” was clearing. I realized we cannot eliminate pain. He has cancer. He has an extremely painful kind of cancer. No matter what happens, he will be in pain. He is already in pain. We chose to pursue amputation and chemo because we feel it is the best bet for the least amount of pain possible. The tumor is extremely painful and as the bone is eaten away, it becomes pretty excruciating and there is danger of the leg snapping. When you think of every step hurting, the bone aching and the possible pathologic fracture, amputation suddenly seems a lot less drastic. It will eliminate that source of pain and the pain from the surgery can be planned for and managed to some extent. I also had to stop thinking of it as literally buying time. None of these options come with a guaranteed amount of time. I chose to focus completely on his comfort and quality of life instead and any additional time we get from the treatment is something to cherish.
I learned from the oncologist and Tripawds that giant breed dogs are not automatically bad candidates. Cole is big but not a huge mastiff. He has a pretty athletic build and we have always kept the dogs trim so their joints would not be strained. I am feeling hopeful for the first time in over a week. I am hoping that he will be approved for amputation and the chemo will give us at least a year. I hope this is not just denial. Even if we only get a few months, we will know we did everything we could and those months will have the least amount of pain possible.
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